FEAR!

Hello Peeps! Today I feel like talking about FEAR! Maybe if I put this out here then maybe just maybe I can get pass it. I have been a heavy girl for a long time. I have had to wear pretty plus and hefty clothes since I was 5 years old. I was never made to feel like I needed to starve myself to be a slim girl. Know when I started gaining weight my mom couldn't understand it because I ate like a bird. Y'all I was so confused as to why my mom and sister where a size 7 and I was growing up and out. Y'all by the third grade I could wear a 34B bra. Yeah! My breast continued to grow very fast. By six grade I was wearing my sister's junior size 7. Well I say all this to say that I don't know what it would be like to be slim. I mean don't get me wrong I got tons of exercise because we walked every where. I was very active I loved to play powder puff football and I was in the marching band for years. So I just couldn't understand why I kept gaining weight. But as I got older I began to understand that my body frame was different than my mom's. I took after my dad. But as I started high school I began to really gain weight. That was do to emotional eating. Growing up in a house with two very beautiful and physically attractive ladies you have to end up with some kind of complex, right? Well I have said all that to say that, I have come to the conclusion that I have had a fear of a few things in my life that I need to conquer. Y'all I have been heavy all my life, I realize that I don't know how to be anything but that way. I have lost 30lbs. but now I am at a stand still. I need to overcome my fear of being smaller. See in my mind I always wanted to find that special person who would love me as I am right now, that way I would be sure that he loved me for me and not what I look like physically. Now I realize that that is just a state of mind, but I have to learn how to let go of my fear about it and move on. I also have a fear of making yet another mistake in judgement when it comes to choosing the right man. I know this all might sound crazy but you'd be amazed at how many people can relate to what I am saying. Y'all I know the bible says God did not give us the spirit of Fear...So I have to step out on faith. It has taking a lot of time for me to get to this point in my life but I have and I am ready to fight my fear and come out on top victoriously. Holla if you hear me!